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Tax Quotes and Jokes for Tax Season

Like death, paying taxes is inevitable. In the case of most Americans, tax season is just around the corner. If only paying taxes was so easy. As you begin pulling out those receipts, the eraser and reading plain English tax instructions that Einstein couldn’t figure out, you’re going to need a good laugh. Here you go:

1. I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.

2. People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.

3. Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten.

4. The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

5. Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.

6. A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform.

7. Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form.

8. What's the difference between a mosquito and an IRS agent? One is a bloodsucking parasite, the other is an insect.

9. It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required.


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