Tax Jokes and Quotes
Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND? Quote: “Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress.” -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Don’t fret, just go dig out your past tax returns. Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes." Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him.
The IRS wrote back, “There is now.” Quote: “It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required.” Q: Who audits IRS agents? Quote: “Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.” Q: How do you drive a CPA insane? A: Fill out Form 1040EZ. Quote: “The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
" Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion? Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling." Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth? A: Have them fill out a tax return. Quote: “Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.” Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado? A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house. Quote: “When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?” People often say death and taxes are the same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die.